84 posts tagged “diary”

When Lord made man, the body parts get together and argued; "Who will be the
boss of the body?"

The stomach countered,"Since I digested the food, I must be the boss."

The brain said,"Since I am controlling the body parts, I must be the boss."

The eyes explained, "Since I can see the environment I must be the boss."

The legs countered,"Since I take the body to whereever it needs, I must be
the boss."

Then the arsehole added, "Since I let the body feel good by taking out
everything not needed, I must be the boss.

The body parts laughed and laughed at the arsehole. The arsehole got crazy
and shut up;

Three days later the body parts began to get sick since the arsehole hadn't
let anything out.

The brain got foggy, the legs wobbled, the eyes got crossed' & the stomach
got sick.

Then the body parts get together and agreed to make the arsehole boss!

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less
sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street (or corridor) to meet a new neighbor. We
conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not
better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we
communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a
time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Give time to love, give time to speak. And give time to share the precious
thoughts in your mind.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say
that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

- George Carlin

**

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river,
his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the
axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kaitrina Kaif.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter
replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I
had said 'no' to Kaitrina Kaif, You would have come up with Tanushree Datta.
Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife.

Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor
man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said
yes to Kaitrina Kaif."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if
you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting..

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had
changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and
then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have
been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something
about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his
middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have
never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the
good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they
got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to
pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had
changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through
the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before
the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after
all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for
such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

Politicians, gossip columnists, doctors, your best friend -- they’re all
talking about the same thing: fat. Especially belly fat. The great thing
about belly fat is that the better you get to know it, the easier it is to
make it vanish (if only spam e-mail worked the same way!). Digest these
stomach-flattening facts.*
*

*1. All fat is not alike.* Eat more calories than you burn and the extras
get packed away in one of two places -- long-term storage depots beneath the
skin (subcutaneous fat) or short-term bins deep in the abdomen (visceral
fat). Visceral fat is what we call omental fat -- that is, fat in your
omentum, a piece of webbing that hangs off your stomach just beneath your ab
muscles, sort of like a mesh apron.

*2. The fat you don’t see is the most dangerous.* The soft, superficial
stuff that ripples your thighs and tummy may be a bikini spoiler, but if you
can pinch it, it probably won’t kill you. However, if you have a solid “beer
belly" . . . well, you’re likely headed for more trouble than a politician
hooked up to a polygraph. That’s because too much deep fat churns out
supersize amounts of hormones and proteins, which can lead to big hazards.
Among them: lousy LDL cholesterol and triglyceride levels; high blood sugar
and blood pressure; insulin resistance; and widespread inflammation. All are
instigators of many diseases -- including dementia, cancer, heart disease,
and diabetes. But often you can get a “do over,” and it doesn’t take that
long and isn’t that hard, if you know what you’re doing. So don’t stop
reading!

First, don’t rely on your scale. As you start to reduce risky belly fat,
your weight may temporarily go up. So ditch the scale in favor of the tape
measure. If you’re a woman, your waist should be 32.5 inches; if you’re a
man, 35 inches. Creep past 37 inches for women or 40 for men, and the health
dangers increase.

*3. Stress makes you fat.* Not only does stress lead you to eat Haagen-Dazs
straight from the carton, but it also triggers the release of cortisol, a
stress hormone. When stress becomes unrelenting, the omentum attempts to
control cortisol flow by sucking it out of the bloodstream. Nice try, but
cortisol fights back once it’s in the omentum and turbocharges fat there.
That sets off other chemical reactions that leave you feeling hungry . . .
and looking for the Haagen-Dazs again. Fortunately, any kind of stress
reduction, especially exercise, will help short-circuit this stress/fat
cycle. Feeling tense right now? Go for a walk the minute you finish this
column.

*4. The fat you eat affects the fat you get.* When monkeys munched on
trans-fat laced diets for 6 years, they developed more deep-belly fat than
those who went trans-fat-free, even though both ate the same number of
calories. Physiologically, we’re close enough to monkeys to extrapolate that
trans fat doesn’t do anything good for your waist or your arteries.

*5. Blasting belly fat isn’t hard.* If you’re not overweight but still have
an oversized waist, the fastest way to shrink your omentum is by walking.
Taking a brisk 30-minute walk each day will keep those fat cells from
expanding. Pick up the pace some, walk a little longer, and you can give
your omentum a makeover, turning a flabby apron of omental fat into sheer
mesh again. After 30 days of walking, start doing resistance exercises as
well to add muscle and lose inches -- otherwise you’ll hit a plateau. No
dumbbells? No gym? No problem. You can get an excellent workout in 20
minutes by using your own body as a weight to stretch and strengthen all of
your major muscle groups. Find examples at
www.realage.com/ct/shape-up-slim-down/.

*6. Whole grains scare away belly fat.* If you and a friend go on a diet but
you eat whole grains (meaning brown rice, steel-cut oats, and whole-wheat
pasta, not whole-grain Pop Tarts) and your friend eats processed grains
(anything made with white/enriched grains and flours, cupcakes to noodles),
you both might lose the same amount of weight, but you’ll shed more belly
fat and lower your levels of C-reactive protein, a marker of damaging
inflammation. And your food will taste better, and you’ll feel full longer.
AND you’ll have a flat stomach!

See.. I am enjoying myself

We don't buy milo anymore for years because its more expensive and tesco malt taste better.
In fact, many don't know that milo isn't the same milo as that the one we grew up with. Its now palm oil based and not milk based, which gives it an oily after taste.
Its cheaper to use oil as the base but the price has gone higher when the quality goes down.

Zoe loves her grannys , and vice versa.

Zoe is drawn to anything pink and blue, like a metal to magnet.